I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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