just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
