Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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