Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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