We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bring me that man meat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
