i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
