I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize