This girl is more easily done than said...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
