tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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