At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize