Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
