Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
