quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
