it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
