I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
