Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
