I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
