just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
