I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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