I forgot how hot balto sounded
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
