dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
