Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
