remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
