Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
