so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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