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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
