Whod you bang
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
