is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
