I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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