i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
