went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
