she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
40s are totally the cure
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
