You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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