Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
