so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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