"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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