I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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