I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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