Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
