bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
