No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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