there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize