I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
