I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize