I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
