Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
