This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
