I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
