Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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