I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
