# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
