And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
