Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
