when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
