my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Terrible idea I love it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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