why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
