Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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