I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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