areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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