I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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