Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
