I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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